Microsoft Renames Natal, Accusations of Racism Arise

On Sunday the 13th of June in the year of our Lord 2010, Microsoft’s Project Natal became Kinect.  Many criticisms have been levied against the device’s purportedly high price point and flail-intensive game library.  But perhaps the harshest critique of the 360′s new peripheral is being published right now by Tpiss’s own Dick Cockballs.  The Kinect is a racist device.

One only needs to examine the name of the equipment to realize that we are being sold hate.  Kinect.  Let’s break it down.  Break.  It.  Down.  The first letter in Kinect, is of course, K.  K, hmm.  Interesting.  The K is followed by i and n.  When taken together, this spells kin, or family.  How many people does it take to make up a family?  Two?  That’s being a little generous.  It’s a minimum of three.  Three K’s.  Hmm.  Now what does this device implore we do with these Ks?  Kinect (cool kid speak for “connect”) them.  KKK.

Now let’s look at the color of the device.  Previously, we had been shown images of a white camera.  But the model being released to the general public is black.  Why would Microsoft make this change?  Most of the 360s in homes right now are white.  Perhaps it has something to do with an unspoken Microsoft motto:  black things are meant to be owned.  There has also been speculation that the redesigned Xbox 360 will ship with a confederate flag faceplate.

This is not the first time Microsoft has been accused of being Hitler-esque.  Some may remember a few years ago when it was discovered that the 360′s Red Ring of Death was purposely designed to promote intolerance against gypsies (who also have a huge red dot in the middle of their faceplate).

More on this story as it develops.